The Greatest Gift

Genuinely Know (Part 1)

As I’ve planned out posts, and scheduled them for this space, I thought it would be helpful to share with you all a little more about my heart. Below you will find the first of four posts, spread out over the next few weeks, that invite you in to more of my vision this website.

In two weeks you’ll have a chance to read the first words I ever wrote for a blog. That post wasn’t for this space, though. More than twelve years ago, and less than a year after the start of a very difficult season, I was facing another very sad but inevitable reality. I think at the time I had a lot of friends who were posting in their own blogs online. I know I enjoyed reading them and like I mentioned before, having always loved words, decided to process all that was happening in the lives of two of my most treasured people, my grandparents, by creating a blog of my own.

“Papap and Grandma” as we called them, were my mom’s parents, and they were an integral part of shaping me into the follower of Christ I am today. I will forever be grateful for their influence. You’ll read more about them in that post but for today I wanted to share a different memory of them with you. 

Until the age of nine we lived in the same city as my grandparents, only a short bike ride away. Well it felt short as a kid. As a quickly aging thirty something my legs and lungs might disagree. You get the point. We would make that bike ride all of the time.  Even once we moved, we were just in the next city over and still saw them all of the time.  A few years later I think, maybe around early middle school, my grandparents left behind North Carolina to move to Pennsylvania. There, they would be living in a well sought after retirement community for retired missionaries and pastors alike. Understandably sad for them to be leaving, I don’t really remember much more about their transition there.

Once they moved away we would still travel up and down the interstates for many holidays, hugs and just because. They would also do the same. Long before texts or facetime, I do know there were regular phone calls and notes my grandma wrote for us on her typewriter. Each year, at our birthday (Oh yes – “our” because I am a twin) we always got a card in the mail. 

I don’t remember how old I was when I received this particular card. Based on the timeline, however, it must have been around late middle school or early high school. You guys remember that season of life, I am sure. You know, the one where everything in life is a crisis, no one understands you and naturally, the only acceptable present you desire is the same super unique, incredibly brilliant (read: expensive) present your angsty friends also just got. Sorry, mom. 

That year, when our card arrived and we opened it up there was cash inside. Surely that’s a gift no one would complain about but, also, unless it’s a million dollars it’s not usually one that decades later is still incredibly memorable. This one, however, I pray that I never ever forget. It seemed to possess a value and generosity beyond what any trendy, fancy present could have ever held. There, inside the card, was a simple seven dollars.

When I was sitting down to define my “why” for this space it was important for me to consider my vision and what I long to accomplish as a result of this website.  Undoubtedly, the most important thing for me is that others would know God – like, really know Him. Now, maybe you’ve heard of him, maybe you know about him or maybe you, like me, really have encountered the Lord and cannot seem to slow your pursuit to know him more. My hope is that there would be some who fall into each of these categories as a part of this community.  

Regardless of how you’d identify, I think for us to not ‘jump the gun, skip ahead or put the cart before the horse’, we have to be faithful to first talk about how someone can know the one, true God. And I pray that for each woman who reads this you’re drawn to trust in Christ for your salvation or reminded of the beauty and truth of the moment you initially did.  

This is the one we all need to read – for the first time or the four-hundredth time. 

My vision statement begins by including the idea that we would be a community of women who genuinely know God. While I further sought to define this, the passage from Scripture that immediately came to my mind was from the book of Ephesians. Now in this book of the Bible, in chapter two, verse eight, we read:

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God”  -Ephesians 2:8 (ESV)

A little fun fact for you, as we continue to get to know each other.  The more you read my writings, listen to me share, or study the Bible with me, you’ll learn that I am a lover of definitions.  To stop and define a word allows me more certainty that in whatever I’m reading, whatever I’m writing and very importantly, whatever I’m sharing, I am considering it in the right context. Definitions greatly help us further understand even the most simple of concepts. They are necessary in ensuring we are getting the most out of our study.

Alrighty, now, back to Ephesians. “Grace…Saved through faith.” This passage feels important to break down and define especially these three ‘churchy words’, if you will. And not just for those of you who might be new to exploring Christianity; but also, for people like me, who have read over them so much it’s easy to just glaze on by, numb to remembering the beauty of what these words, in this context, really mean. 

Merriam Webster defines each of these words as follows: 

Grace: unmerited divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration or sanctification; approval, favor

Saved: to deliver from sin; to rescue or deliver from danger or harm

Faith: complete trust or confidence in someone or something

Shew, see. Now we’ve added the word sin into the mix so might as well go ahead and define that too. 

Sin: offend against (God, a person, or a principle).

Here it is – the BEST news ever. We have the opportunity to receive undeserved favor and approval. We can be rescued from the harm we earned when we offended God. And, all we must do to obtain this is to have confident trust in what God has already done. 

Read it again. Really.

The bible tells us in Romans 3:23 that everyone has sinned. We have all gone our own way against a perfect God – the one, true, God. Our self-centered thinking and desire to control our own lives made it so that we could not live in fellowship with Him. We find in Romans 6 that the cost for that offense is death and Hebrews 9 says that after we die we will face judgement. This news alone is damning. That sounds awful and I am oh so glad that the news does not just stop there.

But God.

My heart and my hope is that we would each know God. And there is only One. In His Word, the Bible, we see that the story did not end at the fall, when Adam and Eve went their own way and our story doesn’t have to either. This was never his plan B. Rescue and redemption, through His son, was always what God had in mind.

“but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” -Romans 5:8 (ESV)

Someone had to die for our offenses against a holy and perfect God. God showed us an amazing picture of real love when he sent his only Son to do just that –  to die in our place. What’s more, Jesus conquered death! On the third day after his crucifixion, when his disciples found an empty tomb, they also encountered two angels who confirmed what Jesus had already told them.

“Why do you seek the living among the dead? He is not here, but has risen. Remember how he told you, while he was still in Galilee, that the Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men and be crucified and on the third day rise.” -Luke 24:5b-7 (ESV)

Want to know what made that seven dollars from my grandparents so special? I still imagine in my head what it looked like the same way I did that day. My grandma, ready with a card to send and just waiting for funds to insert. My Papap, opening up his wallet to see what kind of cash he had available to send. Seeing two fives and four ones, they decided to perfectly split between each twin the cash they had on hand. Seven dollars for me and seven for her. I’d seen him do this so many times before. Albeit small, this was a sacrifice for the sake of showing their love to their granddaughters. They gave what they had. 

I never want to lessen the beauty of that gift my grandparents gave me. It spoke volumes about their love for us and still does. We had also done nothing to earn it. But this gift of the chance to know God, because of Christ’s death and resurrection, holds significance and importance and life change that no amount of money could ever bring.  And this one, true God is someone you should really want to know.

Jesus Christ, God’s only Son lived a perfect life while on earth. He died a criminal’s death in our place, taking the punishment we rightly deserved, and he rose from the dead so that we would have a way to know God. This is absolutely the greatest gift we could ever be given. So much more than seven dollars, easily replaceable at the local ATM. 

His plans for our life are far better than anything we could imagine for ourselves. All on its own, the evidence presented above, speaks clearly to this. His ways, though not often easy to understand, always lead to the most satisfying life.  Above all, some day, having received this gift of redemption, we will be able to live for all eternity in the presence of this kind, forgiving, patient and supremely loving God. We will know him better than ever before.

To know this God, and to experience this salvation, the Bible tells us we must confess with our mouth and believe in our heart, that he is Lord, and we will be saved. (Romans 10:9) That is it. And, that is everything.

Consider today if you have trusted in Christ, in his saving work on the cross, in order to really know God. For my friends who have – praise the Lord for this life change! Would you reflect, with me, on what it would look like to live out each day with the same eagerness we had when we first understood this gift?  And for my friends who have not yet taken this faith step – why not today? 

You have nothing to lose and the most wonderful gift to gain.

Don’t leave this post with questions and no one to ask! Use the connect page to reach out – I would love to share more.

Have you entered this week’s giveaway? Today is the last day! Check out my first post Why I’m Writ…ing to get all the details on how to win! Winner will be announced tomorrow.

Why I’m Writ…ing

“What if someone thinks I’m stupid?”

The amount of times that thought crossed my mind or those words came out of my mouth as a young child and a youth is countless.

Try out for a sport?
“What if someone thinks I’m stupid?”

Go to that social event and try to make friends?
“What if someone thinks I’m stupid?”

Call and order a pizza?
“What if they think I’m stupid?”

Go inside the grocery store alone?
“What if someone thinks I’m stupid?”

I wish I was making this up. The crippling anxiety and fear of man that I’ve lived under, for much of my adolescent and young adult life, seems so illogical when I say it out loud. Yet the crushing weight and control it has held over me is indescribable. Even some of it I’d be embarrassed to share. And for those who know me well, you know that’s saying something, considering I’m usually living life like a very open book.

I’ve missed out on friendships, passed on great opportunities and in thinking too much of myself assumed the worst of others. I’ve lived more often than not looking to please or at the very minimum not be a bother to others. I’ve said “sorry” a lot – simply for just existing. It’s a terrible habit to stop.

More than all of that though, I’ve forsaken so many chances I may have had to honor the Lord! I’ve not paid attention to his proddings, taken faith steps for his glory or trusted in who He says I am because of how I was created by Him; or how I’ve been redeemed by Him. I would absolutely say I’ve lived a really great life. Still, I can only imagine how much sweeter it could’ve been if I’d focused all that energy on the only One who actually matters.

But, God.

The Lord has been incredibly gracious and loving to grow me beyond what I could’ve ever comprehended was possible. In my wildest 18 year old dreams, I could have never imagined that 20 years later I could possess the secure identity in Christ that I do now. His growth of me has felt limitless and I am admittedly undeserving.

You could just feel the “but” coming, couldn’t you? You see I’ve grown – so.very.much. – but I still have so very far to go. The insecurity regularly creeps back up in new and crafty ways that I wouldn’t have seen. Without even noticing it, there’s always one more area of my life where I’m enslaved to what mere humans think of me. I regularly neglect the asking of God to guide and direct my every step. The rhythm and rut of this sin feels endless.

Will I ever truly live free?

Our church has been digging deep into the book of Romans on Sunday mornings. I’m talking over a year of studying verse by verse. A number of weeks ago, as we studied Romans 12, my pastor, Daniel, perfectly balanced his genuine encouragement and intentional challenge towards us to use the gifts of grace the Lord has given. I wish I could share here a picture of the notes scribbled in my Bible around verses 3-8. It’s a lot. But there is absolutely no way you could read my chicken scratch. Thankfully, I can, and so instead I’ll share with you what the Lord used to most challenge me. It feels helpful for us to first have a chance to review this passage.

12 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

3 For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. 4 For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, 5 so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. 6 Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; 7 if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; 8 the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.

“Don’t hype yourself up and don’t hide your gifts. USE THEM!” Daniel exhorted us from the pulpit that Sunday. We did nothing to earn or deserve these gifts but we have them. And it’s for a purpose. While not an exact quote, I felt an especially strong tug as he prodded that we’d have to be a fool and it would for sure be a waste for us to have the ability to give more and just choose not to. Even typing that, my mind sees the memory like I’m again sitting in the sanctuary. My heart is stirred and beating more quickly as it did that Sunday morning.

For as long as I can remember, I have loved both spoken and written words. Even before I’d really found my voice, I thoroughly enjoyed getting lost in a book. For a brief few years, I once kept a blog. I’d choose to read an article over listening to a podcast any day, I’ve always preferred short answer questions to multiple choice quizzes and I quite literally need to talk in order to think. If you’ve met me, or even seen my social media, you know this to be true. Writing feels like an “out loud” way for me to organize my thoughts and make some sense of the world around me.

In the last few years I’ve felt an ache and true longing to write again and to write more and more. My mind is stirred about so many things and I’ve longed for an avenue to better dialogue and process my thoughts. My heart has prompted me to use my voice and share truth while living unsure about a space to do that. The notes application on my phone holds an extensive list of topics for “someday” and the stack of paper napkins, outlining a future book, is stashed in my bedroom waiting for me to pick them back up. Honestly, I should probably consider a better storage solution for those. But…..

“What if someone thinks I’m stupid?”

Here comes that thinking about myself too much again. It’s Saturday night and I’m finally working on what I’ve put off for so long. Just under the surface, though, my insecurities are about to bubble over. Who am I to write? Who even cares what I think? With no actual “training” and an obvious lack of knowledge for grammar, I’m tempted to just shut my laptop right now. But I know it won’t get any easier to spend countless more months and years with the same thought repeating in my head – “I just want to write.” And I certainly wouldn’t be listening to the Lord.

A great friend once told me that she feels like I come alive when I write. I felt so known and understood at that moment. Others have shared a similar sentiment. I could wait for more encouragement like that. I am confident the world around me will only continue to offer more empty promises of hope and healing. Maybe I could choose to press pause until I could add infinitely more talking points to my phone. But it would never be enough. Not if I choose to forsake listening to the Lord. And I’ve resisted the use of this gift and a prodding from Him for far too long because I’ve feared man more than Him.

And so, this, my friends, is why I’m writing – as a humble offering of my giftings to be used by Him. What if one thing I write, one struggle I share or one verse I reflect back on he uses to make himself more known to just one person? That would be enough. It could even be, just maybe, that the person God wants to grow is me.

I’m so thankful for the friends and family who have encouraged me to this point. I’m expectant and hopeful for what the Lord will do through this endeavor. What I long for others to know most is that I love the Lord and my greatest desires are to know Him more and to make Him known! I want to resist and refuse to miss out on anything else because I’m living to please others instead of my King. So, I’ll write and share because it helps me grow. And if the Lord uses it to help you, too, all praise be to Him alone!

Did you enjoy this first post? Want to help me grow this community and win a sweet giveaway in the process?

ESV Journaling Bible, Christmas Coffee Mug, Coffee Beans from Vigilant Hope Roasting, In His Image by Jen Wilkin, Waiting for Jesus and Hymns Magnetic Bookmarks from The Daily Grace Co, and a set of customizable stamped spoons from Dots and Doodles

Giveaway Rules:

  • Share my facebook or instagram post about my new blog on your Instagram story or Facebook timeline. Tag me in the share! (If we aren’t “friends” on social media, based on your privacy settings you may need to add me for me to see it).
  • Tag three friends you want to read it, too!
  • Make sure you’re subscribed to my blog! (No need to worry, your email won’t be bombarded – I’m not that big of a deal.)
  • All items must be completed by 11:59pm on Thursday, November 18th to be entered in the giveaway.
  • The winner will be announced on Friday, November 19th!!